Aneros Vice: I’ve got the power (to cum like a horse!)

The Aneros Vice: Great engineering (for your ass)


The Aneros Vice is an amazing little piece of machinery. It’s got the looks, it’s got the engineering, it’s got the power!

FYI, the metal rod in the picture is NOT something you’re meant to insert in your urethra! We’ll cover that later on in the review.



Aneros has a long track record of making great prostate massagers, but they’ve almost all been made of hard plastic. Until now, that is. This time, when Aneros engineers sat down to make the Vice, they chose silicone, and I for one thank them for that! It’s a great change from previous models which, while extremely satisfying, have occasionally left me feeling a bit sore the next day. The silicone was also a great choice because it “gives” just a little and makes the whole experience feel a bit more organic.

While we’re on the topic of materials, I’d like to show my appreciation to Aneros for making the Vice in matte black; I’m not a huge fan of white massagers because they tend to, well, sometimes show a bit of shit on it! Hey, you’re putting it up your ass, so even if you keep it clean, sometimes that’ll happen. At least with a matte black finish I’m not as aware. The medical-grade silicone finish also feels amazing, silky smooth!


Now, let’s get into performance. To begin with, the Aneros Vice employs thicker tabs than on previous models, which is a great improvement. The thickness combined with the feel of the silicone feels amazing on the perineum (AKA “taint”) and really adds to the whole experience.

And then you turn it on.


DAMN! The vibration in this thing is killer. It uses the newer generation of vibration technology that you would normally see on a Lelo Billy or similar, but in a slim bullet form. It has a few different settings (pulse, wave, constant on) but I personally like the pulse setting the best. YMMV of course 🙂


As I said, the Aneros Vice’s perineum tabs are a bit more forgiving than previous models, so I actually enjoyed kneeling and rocking a little back and forth on it. I’d recommend not putting your entire weight on the thing, as you don’t want to break the tabs off of your new massager (didn’t your dad say something about treating your tools with respect?) Maybe you’re more adventurous than I am though.

I tried using this with a partner, but to be honest, I found it was a bit too much! I busted my nut in about 2 minutes and made a mess from cumming like an errant firehose. Save this one for your alone time unless your partner doesn’t mind you being a bit of a minute-man.

The Aneros Vice is definitely a different kind of experience and totally worth the price tag, in my opinion. Call it investment in your personal well-being and scoop one up today!

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Aneros Vice
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