Good Idea, Poor Execution: Hitachi Prostate Attachments

We recently covered the great Magic Wand knockoff debacle of 2015, which culminated in the jettison of a faulty Bodywand plug-in massager, and the purchase of a rebranded Hitachi Magic Wand; since that time, I decided to see if the “magic” applied to men as well. Sadly, I have to report that the gambit was a failure due to a serious flaw in the design of the prostate attachment. What’s worse? They’re all the same: ass-backwards.

Prostate attachments courtesy of Kris Kross

Wand Essentials Essentially Fucked it Up

Hitachi Magic Wand prostate attachment

I purchased a Wand Essentials prostate attachment and lubed up, with a raging boner and high hopes. I popped the attachment onto the wand, popped the attachment into me, and was immediately disappointed. It was backwards. Backwards! How could  have not noticed this before??? Frustrated, yet still aroused, I reached for my trusty Pure Wand by njoy and blew an amazingly satisfying load.

Satisfaction 😀

Analysis (No Pun Intended): The Problem with Prostate Attachments

After a cigarette and some fresh air, I thought about the failure of the Wand Essentials prostate attachment. Why would they make their attachment point the wrong way?

Obviously, Wand Essentials either didn’t think about it or they intended for you to have a partner operate the wand on you (which, admittedly, isn’t a horrible idea.) My issue was that I wanted an attachment that could be used solo, so I went back to Amazon and checked out alternatives.


Hitachi Magic Wand prostate attachment


Hitachi Magic Wand prostate attachment
Still backwards, guys.


As you can see, they all seem to have the same crucial design flaw. I would imagine that this is because they’re all made in China, using the same template. Or something like that. I guess it ultimately doesn’t matter.

Back to the Drawing Board

No sweat, Dr. Spirograph is on the case. Or not. “Did you know that there’s a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Think about it.”


Possible remedies? Employ a friend or lover to help you out, make a DIY prostate attachment on a 3D printer (which actually isn’t a bad idea either, though that’s a lot to go though for an orgasm,) or forget the whole Magic Wand prostate attachment idea and go with a tried and true prostate massager (check out our top prostate massagers of 2015 post for recommendations.)

What can I say? Win some, lose some. Male-dominated society, my ass! :p