Nexus Sparta: Kicking Your Prostate into Oblivion

THIS. IS. SPARTA! That’s right, today’s review is all about the pint-sized powerhouse: the Nexus Sparta prostate massager!

Wrong Sparta.

Before we begin, I have one small housekeeping note: My sincere apologies for the lack of activity on this site! Life gets in the way sometimes, I suppose. Nevertheless, this post follows a series of product reviews for items that I received from Nexus. If you’re interested in checking out the last review, please click here to watch my video review of the Nexus Revo.

Now that we’re all caught up, let’s get to the meat of the matter and talk about today’s product: the Nexus Sparta prostate massager!

Nexus Sparta: First Looks

Named after the warrior city-state of Greek antiquity, the Nexus Sparta takes its design cues from the Spartan Hoplite helmet’s crest, with its aggressive contours. It’s obvious that the Nexus Sparta means business. The high quality silicone that Nexus uses in many of its products gives the Sparta an air of refinement. Nexus describes the Sparta as a “luxury prostate massager” and I’d have to agree.

Nexus Sparta Helmet
The resemblance is striking.

Lightweight yet High powered; Utilitarian yet beautiful. The Nexus Sparta isn’t your run-of-the-mill, jack of all trades, master of none prostate massager. The thing doesn’t even vibrate! What advantage could it possibly have over any other butt plug, right? Dead wrong. The success of the Nexus Sparta lies in its simplicity.

Nexus Sparta prostate massager

Time for Some Action

Rather than beating around the bush and sending vibrations all around the area, the Nexus Sparta directly stimulates your prostate with its “unique stroker technology” (their words) which replicates a finger massaging your prostate in a “come hither” motion. The result…

Yeah, it’s that fucking good.

This was way different from your traditional vibrator, it felt like someone had their finger up my butt and was dead set on making me cum. The best part: I didn’t even have to buy it dinner or listen to it talk about its feelings!

The Sparta is a warrior; it gets in, kicks ass, and gets the fuck out! You’d better have a towel ready and a safe place to land, buddy. Within three minutes of inserting the Nexus Sparta and turning it on, I was shooting ropes like a Navy Seaman!

That’s some nice rope throwin’, boss.

All Charged Up

All ropes aside, another great feature of the Sparta is the charging system. Rather than requiring the user to buy AA or AAA batteries, the device has a built-in Li-ion battery which is charged via magnetic USB. In addition giving the device a premium feeling and appearance, the port-less nature of charging allows for the Nexus Sparta to be fully submerged in water. This makes for an excellent shower toy, and I can attest to that!

It charges pretty quickly, too!

Final Thoughts on the Nexus Sparta

I’m unaware of any other prostate massagers that utilize this type of “stroker” movement and, for the life of me, I don’t see why more manufacturers don’t build massagers that do what the Nexus Sparta does! The whole idea of a prostate massager is to massage the prostate. Nexus has built a product that does this in spades. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m telling you to buy one, dammit!

Here’s your sign, dude.


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Nexus Sparta Prostate Massager
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